


Shoot me down

by elareine



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/M, First Love, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Marriage, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Threesome - F/M/M, canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 11:13:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12769830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elareine/pseuds/elareine
Summary: The first man Leia of Alderaan loved, and the last, and everything inbetween.Or: Nine times their relationship changed irrevocably.





	Shoot me down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ljparis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ljparis/gifts).



> Dear Ljparis, I really, really hope you like this. I was originally planning something short and fluffy, and it evolved into... this. 
> 
> I can't give enough thanks to prettylittlepliers, who worked wonders with my mess of a story with very little time to do so. 
> 
> Warnings: Contains at least one really corny line during sex. (You’ll know it when you see it.) All violence is non-explicit and canon (Leia’s introduction in Episode IV, for example.), as is the major character death. One instance of ableist language that isn’t called out.
> 
> I probably fucked up some timelines, especially regarding the time between episodes VI and VII. I’m sort of ignoring the fact that other Alderaanians survived the destruction of their planet. Everyone important to Leia and Kier is gone. Also ignores “The Courtship of Princess Leia” because no.

**Leia**

One 

The brush of her loose hair against her collarbone was one of the most intimate things Leia had ever felt, right after Kier cupping her neck with a broad hand and pulling her close.

She kissed him, more hungrily now than before, and he gladly yielded his mouth.

Leia could feel his fingers slowly undressing her. He was taking his time with her. For now, she was grateful - this _was_ her first time, after all. Still, she wanted to see him naked, too. Really, really wanted to. So his formal attire was all but clawed off.

“Whoa!” Kier laughed, pulling back. “I do need to go back home in this.”

Leia tried to pout playfully. “But I do want that off you quite a lot right now.”

To her delight, he blushed at that. “Uh. Alright.”

Leia looked at him.

He looked at Leia.

She raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, right. I’ll just…”

He turned his back to her to get out of his trousers, and when he turned back around, she had shed her gown. She wasn’t quite sure how one laid back seductively - her protocol droid certainly hadn’t covered that in her childhood lessons - but she did try, propping up her legs, leaning back on her arms and pushing out her chest just a bit.

By the hungry expression that crossed his face, she was succeeding.

Kier dropped between her legs, pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of her thigh.

“Let me make you feel good, Princess,” he whispered against her skin. Leia couldn’t deny the shudder that ran through her body at the title, and his grin told her that he had noticed.

“By all means,” she said, trying to sound haughty and dignified, turning this into a joke, but she didn’t exactly succeed.

He almost dropped one of her legs when he made room for himself between them, but apart from that she was impressed with the sureness of his movements. Then she stopped evaluating his confidence because he had his mouth on her clit and oh, that was… quite nice.

Hmm.

“Maybe… use your tongue more? Not like kissing.”

Kier actually followed her instructions, but it wasn’t quite…

“Circles. And careful with your teeth.”

She felt his lips move, as if in a smile, but he followed her instructions to a T.

“Oh,” she moaned. He deserved to hear the fruits of his labor. “Mhh. Add a finger. Careful.”

First, he dragged his pointer through the wetness of her folds, and she groaned. Then he slipped it into her and for a long second, she could feel herself tighten up. _Relax_ , she told herself, remembering her mother talking to her about it not having to hurt on her first time. (And hadn’t that been an embarrassing conversation? Leia _really_ didn’t want to imagine her parents’ first time, thank you very much.)

Kier did well - he didn’t try to move the finger in and out, just kept it there, still sucking on her clitoris, and gradually, he actually had room to move.

Then he added another finger. Leia couldn’t help her small moans now. The sensation of his mouth on her, his hand in her, was threatening to be overwhelming. Kier just kept going, relentless even without instructions, even adding a little scissoring motion of his fingers now and then.

Leia couldn’t help the short cry as she felt herself lose control, her thighs spasming uncontrollably until – “Oh, Kier!”

His touches gentled, but he got her through the comedown quite nicely, his lips a bit away from her clit and his fingers just gently moving inside her.

His hand was unmistakably on himself.

She smiled.

“Get in me.”

Kier looked faintly astonished when he came up, his hair dishevelled and his lower face slightly wet. (It was a good look on him.)

“You mean-” he asked. And _now_ he chose to blush.

Leia laughed. “Get that-” she pointed at the very visible sign of his arousal, then towards her own lower body, “in there.”

This time, she didn’t cramp up. Leia had no frame of reference, but honestly, he wasn’t really that much bigger than the three fingers he’d had in her just minutes before. It did feel different though, both more solid and kind of spongy. She probably shouldn’t say that out loud. Instead, she just let out a loud, contented breath when he bottomed out.

Kier held himself above her on trembling arms. He was perfectly still. “Princess?”

She let her head loll back and sighed. “Mmmh?”

“Are you hurting?”

“No, you feel very good,” she reassured him. “Move just a little bit for now, alright? Gentle.”

It must have taken a lot of willpower for him to obey, but he did. She put her hands on his shoulders, on his back, and could feel the fine trembles that shook his body to the very core.

He was trying out different angles, too, shifting his hips minutely. Or maybe that was just excitement. Still, she made sure to groan when he found a very nice one. “That’s good, stay that way. You can move faster now.”

There was no pain. It was a bit weird, for sure, and Leia sort of missed his tongue on her clit, but having him so close – seeing him enjoy her body, feeling him in her, made up for it. Briefly, she thought about coming again. But she still felt too sensitive to manage, and anyway, he was shaking in earnest by now.

Leia pulled him down by the neck so he was lying on top of her and whispered into his ear: “Go ahead and come.”

She hadn’t meant for it to sound sexy, more reassuring and matter-of-fact, but he moaned like it was the most arousing thing he’d ever heard, and did come.

Leia just thanked the heavens and her mother that she had access to the best hormonal contraception available in the galaxy. It was nice – intimate – to feel him jerk in her, hold him as he collapsed on top of her.

For a long moment, they lay there in the starlight, holding each other close.

Then he suddenly chuckled against her neck. “Here I was worrying about being good enough for you at this, but you ask for what you want, don’t you?”

She blushed. Had she been too forward? Maybe the direct communication her mother had advised wasn’t meant to be that blunt? “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, I loved it,” he assured her. “It’s great. I like to please you. In case you haven’t noticed.”

“I… might have.” Contentedly, she snuggled back into his arms. “I can only do it because I trust you, you know.”

She felt the hold around her tighten. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

 

Two

When he slumped in her arms, she thought he was dead.

It was better this way, she decided. He had died a hero in the eyes of the world, coming to rescue his princess. That’s what she would say. He would be buried on Alderaan, maybe in the capital, with flowers on his grave and a stone commemorating his deeds, and no one would know he was willing to sell out the Rebellion.

Then his chest rose. For a second, Leia thought she’d imagined it - but no, there the movement was again. Frantic all off a sudden, she leaned forwards and put a hand on his neck, checking his pulse (barely there, but _there_ ), then turned around towards Amilyn.

“Help me!” she yelled, gesticulating wildly at Kier. “He’s alive! He’ll make it!”

It took some awkward maneuvering to get him back to the only functioning ship left in the system, and without Amilyn Leia could never have managed. Both of them kept checking him for signs of life, afraid the movement would extinguish what little flame still burned in him.

Finally, he was lying on the floor of the cockpit with Leia sitting next to him and Amilyn was steering them back to Alderaan.

For a few minutes, everything was pure joy. They had won, and Kier would live! Not in quite as good a condition perhaps as he’d been in before this, but the shy young man that had coaxed her out of her royal shell and made her live for the first time wouldn’t die.

Then she remembered the recording he had been making.

“Oh Amilyn… what will we do with him?”

Amilyn looked at her. “He was trying to turn us in, wasn’t he.”

Leia nodded, a bitter taste in her mouth. “For the good of Alderaan and the royal family.”

She felt Amilyn’s unoccupied hand on her shoulder and was grateful for the warm, human contact. The other girl didn’t say anything, just let her count her breaths.

The silence was only broken when they approached Alderaan and Amilyn asked: “Landing at the public docks?”

“Better not. We would cause quite a stir with this thing,” Leia considered, grateful for something to do. “Use the private palace landing space, Amilyn. It’s shielded and there will be medics there.”

“Freighter 756, what’s your access code?” the landing pad demanded as soon as Amilyn had punched in the coordinates.

Leia leaned closer to the one undamaged microphone. “Landing pod 004, this is Leia Organa. I have repurposed this freighter. Access code is ‘Golden Glow’.”

“Permission to land granted, Princess. Slot 002. You may proceed immediately.”

“Please have medics ready on the ground. We have one severely injured person on board.”

“Understood. We will have everything prepared.”

True to ground control’s word, they were welcomed by emergency evac services as well as several members of the military that she presumed to be Rebellion. General Akbar took her aside in the ensuing chaos and asked her to accompany him to the throne room, where her parents were waiting. As soon as she entered, they rushed to her side.

“Leia? Oh gods, it’s good to see you! What happened?”

She knew they were inquiring after the reason for her obvious emotional distress, not the outcome of the mission which was glaringly obvious, but still she prevaricated: “Amilyn helped me hire a ship. We reached the base in time to evacuate the troops and detonate the remains. Minimal casualties.”

“Thank heavens,” her father replied, and her mother added, “and you, Leia. But why was Kier there? He was injured? Did you take him with you?”

“I didn’t. He…” she hesitated for a moment. But no. She couldn’t - wouldn’t - cover this up from her parents. “He followed me and tried to record the ships. To prove that there was a Rebellion. He wanted to turn us in.”

There was a pause as her parents digested that.

“Did he succeed?” Breha asked, but she didn’t sound too anxious - Leia would have told them right away if he had.

“No. He was caught in the explosion and was badly injured. I destroyed the recordings right then and there.”

Her father asked softly, “Why the hell did he do that?” 

Leia explained. When she was done, Breha just asked: “And now?”

“Whatever we decide to do, news of the incident can’t come out,” Bail pointed out. “He is legally dead. His funeral is set for the day after tomorrow.”

“By law and tradition, the punishment for a traitor to the crown is death, anyway.” Her mother wasn’t looking at Leia when she spoke.

Bail frowned. “We can’t give him a fair trial, since everyone involved would be a member of the Rebellion.”

“I’m the queen. Just because I don’t use the right to a royal execution often anymore...”

That sort of implied that she _had_ used it before, which wasn’t something Leia had known before, but her curiosity was overridden by horror at the idea. She must have made a sound, her tight control fractured by exhaustion, because her father looked at her.

“What do you propose, Leia?”

Leia? Leia proposed screaming, and crying, and not having to decide the punishment of someone she’d loved.

But that was what ruling meant, she realized. Making the hard decisions. Not just about the fate of the galaxy and her people, but about those closest to her. The personal ones.

Her father and mother weren’t hurrying her, just waiting for her opinion.

“Lock him away. We can’t start executing everyone of our people who at some point opposed the Rebellion, though I can see why you would consider it, mother.” She didn’t think she could stomach that, anyway. He wasn’t _that_ kind of traitor. “He made an attempt, and was stopped before he could do harm. However,” she took a deep breath, “He _did_ betray us. I propose to exile him - keep him jailed on a small base, where he is away from Alderaan and out of the reach of the empire.”

She set her jaw. “And if he tries to escape, execute him.”

To her surprise, she was suddenly enveloped in a tight hug by her father, joined only milliseconds later by her mother.

“Alright, dear,” Breha whispered, and Bail added, “We’re so proud of you.”

Leia wasn’t a child any longer. In fact, she felt like she had aged by about a million years in the span of a day. But right now, she just held on to her family and let herself be weak.

Then she took a deep breath and let go. “I’ll have to be the one to tell him.”

Her mother smiled sadly. “If you say so. Take General Ackbar with you. He will see to it that Kier will be escorted.” _And that he doesn’t hurt you_ , she didn’t say. Of course, her mother had no reason to share Leia’s trust in his fundamental, if deeply misguided goodness.

She turned to the general, who had discreetly held himself back during the discussion. “Would you mind terribly if we go right away, General? I think we all would like to sleep for approximately ten days after this, and the sooner we get it over with, the better.”

The general bowed as gallantly as an alien of his stature could. “Of course, Princess.”

The walk through the familiar corridors to a private suite that usually hosted honored guests had never felt so long. When she saw him lying there, medirobots busy on his leg and chest, she almost postponed the conversation. He looked so vulnerable and barely awake.

But then he saw her and tried to sit up, prompting a flurry of chiding clicks from his mechanical nurse. “Leia! Are you alright? Did you save the recordings?”

At the question, finally, rage coursed through her. It made it easier to get the next sentences out.

“They have been destroyed. Kier Domadi, you are accused of treason against the crown by nature of treason to the Rebellion. The crown finds you guilty. You will be exiled and kept in captivity.”

“What?” Kier stared at her disbelievingly. “I was just - I was trying to save you and this entire planet!”

“You would have doomed us, Kier! Do you really think the empire would let you save us?” Suddenly, Leia just felt tired. “It doesn’t matter. Be grateful that you won’t be executed.”

He flinched and fell silent. Thinking this was it, she made to turn away.

“Wait!” he called. Reluctantly, she looked at him again. He looked so pale.

“Can I at least say goodbye to my family?”

“I will inform them of your death in the morning.”

His shoulders slumped. “Can you tell them I love them?” he pleaded.

Leia nodded. Her hands trembled, but her shoulders were squared, her head lifted up straight.

Still, he tried. “Leia, please. I love you.”

He was looking at her with those big, hurt eyes, and she had to swallow against the sudden urge to cry again. Nevertheless, she stayed firm. “I’m sorry, Kier.”

And she was, but she couldn’t trust him after this. If it was only her, her heart, she might have taken the risk, but not with the Rebellion. No matter how pure his motives were, he would have gotten them killed. And really, was his motive that pure? Or was he just selfish and afraid?

Leia didn’t know the answer. But she did turn away and walk out of the room, letting him go.

 

three

Wild hope and triumph cursed through her when she saw just what Rogue One had just sent her. See, Kier? They could work together, could be effective - could save the galaxy, maybe!

Then she chided herself for these thoughts.

Way too many people had died for this moment. She could still see the wrecks of the Rebellion’s best forces on her ship’s screens. Even if Jynn Erso was right, even if they did manage to find a weakness in these plans, they might have just lost the troops needed to exploit it.

With a jolt, Leia recalled herself to the present. “Set course for Alderaan. Full speed.”

Her father had entrusted her with this, and she would not fail him.

Half an hour later, her ship was under attack. The empire had caught up with them way too quickly. Leia’s mind raced as her ship rocked back and forth, a sure sign of them being boarded by force.

If they saw her in the Yavin system, there was no way they would believe her to be on a simple diplomatic mission. She was already suspicious in Grand Moff Tarkin’s eyes. The chances of talking her way out of it were slim. But maybe…

She turned to her droid. “Artoo. You need to hide this data and guard it with your life. Bring it to my father.”

No. Alderaan was too far away. And, as much as Leia didn’t want to think about it, if she was compromised, so were her parents.

“Where are we, exactly?”

Frantically, she scanned the map her little droid was projecting for her. Tatooine? Why did that ring a bell?

Ah!

“Get this to Obi-Wan Kenobi. He’s on Tatooine. Only to him, understood? And,” her mind thought fast, “record.”

 

Leia took a deep breath and looked into the camera. “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”

Darth Vader was more of a nightmare than she could have ever imagined. Tarkin and even Palpatine himself - they were bureaucrats. Probably capable of harming more people and insidiously dangerous, but none of them were surrounded by this… by this dark aura.

Leia had always believed in the Force. Now, for the first time, she really understood what it meant for it to become corrupted.

He sliced through her guard as if they were nothing. These people she had grown up with, that had joined the cause and had jubilated when Rogue One gave them that glimmer of hope - they were paper thin in front of his might.

Leia could not let herself be distracted by that. He was coming closer.

“Go!” she whispered to Artoo just as he saw her.

Then she whirled around and faced this nightmare become flesh.

Grand Moff Tarkin was waiting for her. Clearly the attack on Yavin 4 had brought out the empire’s big guns.

Good. That meant they were rattled. And they had reason to be.

There wasn’t any point in trying to play nice with Tarkin anymore.

“Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s leash. I recognised your foul stench.”

He just smiled his skull head smile. “Charming to the last. You don’t know how hard I found it to sign the order to end your life.” Then he had the audacity to touch her. Somehow, that disgusted Leia more than the threat to her life.

She smiled at him and stuck out her chin. “I’m surprised that you had the courage to shoulder the responsibility yourself.”

“Princess Leia, before your execution I would like you to be my guest at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational.” He walked away from her, then spun around dramatically. “No star system will dare oppose the emperor now.”

“The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.” By the gods, she hoped that was true. This, not Yavin 4, was the real test for their alliance. If the Death Star _was_ operational…

She could still stop it, she thought. She knew its weakness. Nothing was lost yet.

“Not after we demonstrate the power of this station.” He lifted a finger. “In a way, you’ll have to tell me the choice of the planet that’ll be destroyed first.”

She didn’t know what those words meant, but something in her began to tremble.

“Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the rebel base, I have chosen to test this planet’s power on your chosen planet of Alderaan.”

And there is was. Leia should have recognised the system sooner, should have seen the trap closing, but all she could do for the next seconds was to stare at her home planet now clearly visible in the viewing window, blue and green and white and beautiful.

Her mouth began to speak without her permission. “No! Alderaan is peaceful, we have no weapons, you can’t possibly-“ Her voice went up at the end, and she knew she sounded close to tears, but hopefully, that would give the sick fuck what he wanted.

His eyes were cold when they looked at her. “Another target - a military target? Then name the system.”

Her mouth opened, but thankfully, no sound came out.

She couldn’t betray the Rebellion.

He walked closer, backing her up against Vader, whom she had almost forgotten. “I grow tired of asking this.”

She couldn’t keep his gaze anymore, looking at Alderaan, her Alderaan, instead.

“For the last time: Where is the rebel base?”

She couldn’t betray the Rebellion.

She couldn’t.

Leia looked at Alderaan and said: “Dantooine.”

Then she looked up at Tarkin and repeated: “Dantooine.” Then she looked away.

_Please buy it_ , her mind whispered.

“There.” Tarkin smiled. “You see, Lord Vader? She can be reasonable.” Then he turned to the orderly. “Continue with the operation. You may fire when ready.”

Then he turned around, gave an order. She screamed.

But Alderaan went up in flames until nothing was left, nonetheless.

Leia didn’t know what happened right after. She might have screamed. She might have cried. All she knew was that her home - her family - her _everything_ was gone.

Just gone.

Just turned into a big, empty nothingness, just like the one that filled her soul.

 

If she hadn’t been restrained, that would have been the end of Lord Vader right there. That’s the thought that got her out of her stupor. She didn’t know how long she had been in here – it might have been days. It didn’t matter.  

She would kill Tarkin. And then Vader, and then every single one of these men who had stood by and watched as they destroyed her home world.

The thought settled into her like iron cuffs. She was bound to this promise now.

Leia might have been in a cell, might have been surrounded by stormtroopers, but she’d be damned if she gave up that easily. She would just wait until they brought her food (and they would – just the fact that she was still alive told her that they needed her for something) and then they’d see what kind of a punch a little rebellious princess could pack.

After all, she only needed to get her hands on one pulser. She had enough confidence and practice by now to think she might just make it.

For the first time in weeks, she thought of Kier.

What would he have thought of her now? If he had even survived. Leia hadn’t asked where he was being kept. It might have been on Alderaan.

There had been something wrong in that room. Apart from the obvious. When she’d stood close to Vader, when he’d breathed close to her, it was as if someone was pushing against her mental walls, trying to encourage her to give it up.

She had barely kept herself from listening.

Her parents had warned her that the empire only dealt in those kinds of choices, where the other side lost everything and the empire always won.

She herself had been disgusted by Kier doing the same. Less pushed to it than she had been, maybe, presented only with the hypothetical rather than the stark reality – but he had turned in the Rebellion for Alderaan and she had done almost the same, even if it had “only” been a barely inhabited planet she’d given up.

How many people would she have killed if Tarkin had believed her? Tens? Hundreds?

Only her bargain had failed.

In that little part of her that could still feel something, anything other than guilt and grief and numbness, she could feel herself let go. Forgive.

And prayed that the millions of souls she’d watched die would do the same.

The door burst open, and two men entered.

They were way too short for stormtroopers.  

 

**Han**

One

Okay, so his proposal to Leia wasn’t the most romantic one in the galaxy. But fuck it, they had just basically brought down an empire. Surely Han, who never had empire-toppling aspirations in his life, could be forgiven for being overly celebratory.

Admittedly, the Shesharilian vodka helped too.

But alright, Leia looked beautiful and radiant and fit perfectly under his arm. His little firecracker.

“Well, my mother once said I should enjoy life with a rogue,” she mused.

He grinned and kissed her, ignoring Luke’s laughter and the droid’s whistling.

 

The wedding was nothing grand. They had planned for a big one – a sign of hope to the entire galaxy, Mon Mothma had said, but the remnants of the Empire kept interrupting them. It was rather annoying.

Finally, Han (General Solo to you, now) was accosted by his fiancée in the corridor one afternoon. “Come with me.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Anywhere in particular? Cause I know a very nice bed that we could be in right now.”

“That’s not – oh, well, later,” she laughed. “Let’s get married. I told Mon Mothma we would be there at six.”

“What?”

“Married. You. Me. Luke’s my best man, by the way.”

“Of course he is,” Han said, outraged, “Mine is obviously Chewie. Wait. At six?”

“Wear something nice.”

“ _Leia._ ”

“Look, there’ll always be – stuff,” she explained.

“Smooth and well-worded.”

“Shut up. I just meant that there will be more wars and politics and everything happening, and if we wait for it to calm down it will never happen. We can always do the big wedding thing later, but I’d,” she looked away, “I’d like to be married to you.”

He kind of wanted to coo at that, but settled on a simple: “Sounds great.”

She beamed. “Get ready, then! You’ve got forty minutes!”

As if in a daze, he walked back to his quarters. What exactly – oh, yes, he should probably tell Chewie about the idea. He commed his co-pilot, but apparently Leia had already let him know. (Wait, was he the last to know about his own damn wedding? What the hell, Princess?)

Now. Nice clothes.  

For a long moment, Han stared at his closet. What exactly did one wear to these things? He had never been to an impromptu wedding before. To be honest, he hadn’t been to many weddings, period. What did grooms wear when it wasn’t some romantic comedy holovid?

Then he remembered that he actually only owned one nice shirt that hadn’t been torn by some unexpected fight for their lives. What could he say, it had been a busy year. So he pulled that one on over a clean undershirt and gave a mental shrug at his pants – they were black, clean and only medium tight. They would do.

The boots stayed on, obviously.  

Shit, there wasn’t much time left. He all but ran to Mon Mothma’s main seat. Chewie was waiting for him outside, greeting him with a loud bellow and a hug.

“Shh, tone it down, will you?” Han hissed, though he returned the hug.

“Groah.”

“Okay, fair point,” Han conceded. Very few people understood Chewie around here. “Still. Indoor voice in cities, remember? Alright, let’s get inside.” Before people recognized him and started asking what he was hanging around here for.

Mon Mothma was waiting for them in a room that Han suspected was usually used for executive meetings.

“General, Mr. Chewbacca,” she greeted them.

“Ma’am.” Looked like Leia wasn’t here yet. Hah. Han was winning at this.  

Mon Mothma mustered him. “You’re not quite what I expected, General Solo.”

Usually, he’d get snarky here, but damn the woman intimidated him. “Sorry, Ma’am?”

“It’s not a bad thing,” she reassured him. Han didn’t feel reassured. “Her first boyfriend – Kier Domadi – you know him?”

“Nope. Never heard of him.”

“Oh. He was of Alderaan.” She hesitated. “I probably shouldn’t have told you this.”

“Nah, tell me about him, so I know what not to do.” Han grinned. He did love a bit of gossip, and the potential for blackmail or at least some teasing.

“What not to do?”

“Well, she left him, right? Should avoid that.”

Mon Mothma smiled. “He was a very nice young man, shy, but good at drawing her out and supporting her.”

Han frowned. “Doesn’t sound so bad.”

“He also betrayed the Rebellion in order to save Alderaan.”

“Oh.” Well, that was a bummer. “No betraying her to evil people, then. Noted. Honestly, I think I got that covered.”

In that moment, Leia walked in. She didn’t look all that different from normal despite a different hairstyle, which was sort of the point, Han supposed. He was marrying _her_ , not some glammed up holo version, after all.

Luke was right behind her. “Sorry, sorry. Had to lock Threepio in a closet again, he was freaking out.” He beamed. “Are we ready?”

“Yes, Princess Leia, Master Luke, we are.” Mon Mothma gestured at the table behind her. “Please, take a seat.”

They all obeyed.

“I won’t be making a long a speech for this occasion,” she began, and Han mentally breathed a sigh of relief. “I just want to highlight one thing: We are five beings from five different planets and cultures, and we have all come together today to celebrate this union. However small this ceremony is, that means something.”

Leia nodded, looking serious, and Mon Mothma smiled at her before turning to Han and asking: “Do you, Han Solo, take Leia Organa of Alderaan as your lawfully wedded wife?”

To his own surprise, Han had to clear his throat before replying: “I do.”

“And do you, Leia Organa, take Han Solo to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“Then I ask you and your witnesses to sign this marriage registration form.”

Han could have sworn Luke was taking his time scanning the form deliberately. The seconds seemed to drag on. Finally, _finally_ Mon Mothma said: “Your marriage has been formally recognized by the laws of the universe. You may kiss.”

Leia’s mouth met his halfway.

Had someone asked him five years ago whether he would ever get married, Han would have laughed at the poor sucker. Had they told him he’d have married a princess in a ceremony performed by a senator of the Republic and witnessed by an actual Jedi Knight, he’d have… bought that person more drinks, probably, for the sheer entertainment value.

But there Han was, and it was pretty damn good.

 

Two

He and Leia had a bond, okay, that wasn’t going to break, but damn, this marriage was a problem.

Current example: Leia was telling him _to give their son away_.

“No way.”

She fixed him with a stare. The one that he was increasingly becoming acquainted with. The one that said that he was doing something wrong, and instead of making her angry it was just making her cold.

But this time he wasn’t wrong.

“Han.” She paused and visibly gathered her words. “We can’t control him.”

He just frowned. “He’s just a kid.”

“A terribly strong one. He will harm someone, Han.”

Han slammed his hands down on the table, half-rising from his chair. He didn’t mean to lose his cool again – he did that way too often these days – but: “Why do you sound so _sure_? You’re predicting our son to be a – a psychopath or something!”

Ben had the Force. Apparently, it was so strong it was starting to scare his wife and brother-in-law.

It didn’t scare Han. He wasn’t scared of Leia or Luke, so why would he be scared of his own son? Maybe Ben was a bit quieter than he’d expected from any offspring of his and Leia’s. And ok, force throwing stuff at other kids wasn’t ideal (but funny). But Leia talked as if he was on his path to becoming a murderer.

She didn’t stand up in turn, probably because she knew it wouldn’t make a difference in having to look up to him. (And when had his marriage changed from being an enjoyable game of cat and mouse to a genuine power struggle?)

“I’m not saying that at all. If you’d just listen, Han. He’s – he’s constantly playing with fire, but we can’t just take it away from him until he’s older and can do it safely. He’ll hurt someone, or he’ll hurt himself.” She held his gaze. “Do you really want to put that responsibility on the boy?”

“Are you sure you don’t just want him out of the way?” he shot back.

Seeing her turn pale, he almost regretted it. “You know that’s not-“

“Do I?” he asked, his voice rising. “Does he?”

For a moment, he thought she was going to hit him. He almost wished for it.

Then she breathed out through gritted teeth: “I don’t have to justify myself about this to you, Han. You’re gone all the time, too. And anyway,“ she held up a hand, talking over his sputters, “it’s not about me, or you. It’s about our son.”

“Who should stay with his parents.”

“Who has the Force and will be incredibly vulnerable until Luke teaches him how to handle it.”

The tone of her voice was infuriating to him, but he made himself listen, anyway.

“I’m not letting him be turned into a killer.”

She didn’t smile, but something tight around her mouth relaxed cautiously. “That’s not what the Jedi did.”

“You don’t know that.” From what Han had heard of the Clone Wars… he’d never considered the idea of the Jedi Order all that appealing.

At least Leia didn’t argue the point. “It’s not what Luke does.”

And fuck, how could he counter that? Luke was good. Even after basically killing his long lost father, the guy was basically radiating sunshine and had managed to quasi-adopt a bunch of kids that showed promise with the force. Though Han was pretty sure at least two of them just had nowhere else to go and Luke just made everything levitate for them to give them a home.

Han couldn’t help the sigh that came out from his chest.

“Luke will take care of him, Han. He’ll be with his uncle, with other kids his age. And…” she hesitated, but finally admitted: “And well-hidden from the First Order.”

“Which would only be going after him because of you.”

It was a cruel thing to say. Han didn’t regret it, and Leia didn’t flinch.

“Yes.”

 

In the end, Han gave in. He insisted on being the one to tell Ben, though.

As always, he found his boy playing with the toy soldiers in his room, re-enacting the battles of a bygone age. Every day, more of the soldiers seemed to move on their own.

Maybe Leia and Luke had a point.

He knocked on the open door. Ben didn’t like to be startled. “Hey, kiddo.”

His kid ignored him.

This day was shaping up to be just fantastic.

He crossed the room carefully, but could still feel his boots catching on a clone soldier replica. Ben didn’t even acknowledge him when Han knelt by his side.

“Hey, kiddo,” Han said again, trying to soften his voice. “You alright?”

“Count Dooku has surrounded General Kenobi’s troops,” Ben told him.

“That’s not good, is it?”

“Kenobi has a few remaining weapons stored away here. They just need to make it across the ice desert in time.”

Well, he could try to play along. “Oh no, that’s dangerous. Will they make it?”

Ben shook his head. “No. The dark side will win.”

The toy soldier in his left hand crumpled up and ended up in a tiny, twisted heap on the floor. Han looked down at it. He didn’t think six year olds normally had the grip strength to do that. Hell, he didn’t think _he_ had the grip strength to do that.

Maybe he’d better talk straight.

“Listen, kiddo. Your mother and I talked.”

Ben looked down. “Were you arguing about me again?”

Han didn’t know what to say. The arguments weren’t just about Ben, but how did you tell a kid that?

“Never,” he swore instead.

Ben didn’t look like he believed it. But he didn’t push, so Han just accepted this gift and said: “We’ve been trying to decide something. We think…”

Ben still wasn’t looking at him. Another toy soldier was crumpling up.

“We think you should go attend Uncle Luke’s school.”

Oh no, that was too blunt. There were tears bubbling up in Ben’s dark eyes.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Why hadn’t he let Leia done the talking? She knew how to be diplomatic and shit. For all that he thought she was a workaholic and away far too much, she was way better at this whole parenting thing than he was.

In his panic, Han put a hand on Ben’s back and began babbling: “We love you! We love you, we just want you to be safe. And you can learn to be a Jedi! Like General Kenobi! That’s cool, right?”

“Don’t want to,” was all Ben murmured.

“It’ll be good,” was all Han could repeat. He hadn’t felt so helpless since the day he was about to be shockfrosted in front of a certain princess. “It’ll be good.”

His son’s eyes were dry, now, but Han couldn’t help but notice the disappointment in them. “Sure, dad.”

 

Three days later, it was time. Ben had hugged his parents briefly in the hangar, looking way too solemn for a six year old. Han had expected tears, yelling, _something_.

Luckily, Luke more than made up for it as he sunnily smiled down at his nephew. “Ready, Ben? It won’t be too long a voyage, but you can co-pilot.”

Han’s son’s face lit up at the suggestion. “Oooh, can I, Uncle Luke? No take-backs!”

“Of course not, Ben.”

The little boy grinned and took his uncle’s hand. “Let’s go!”

Luke smiled at Han and Leia and mouthed: “It will be fine.”

Looking at the two of them running up the ship’s gangway, Han could almost believe it. It didn’t stop the pain in his chest.

The ship left.

After a long period of silence, Han turned to his wife. Leia’s face looked like it was carved from stone. There was no comfort there.

“Let’s go.” She turned and made to walk back to the commando room.

Han couldn’t make himself follow her.

Leia walked steadily towards the doors. Only when they had swished open did she stop and turn her head halfway, barely looking at him as she asked: “You’re leaving, then?”

“Yes.”

Chewie would be ready at the hangar, he knew. Chewie was always ready.

His wife was a general now. They had defeated one empire together, only to succeed in creating a new one. And still she fought, led the Resistance, shared their too few victories and their many, many losses.

Han didn’t know how she could do it.

He couldn’t.

Leia nodded, turned away, and left to command her army.

 

Three 

The thing was. Try as he might, Han had never been able to run away from his guilt for too long.

He had run from Leia and their problems, and on some level, he wasn’t even regretting that.

It was more… with Leia, it was too easy to forget that she had lost her entire family during the Rebellion against the Empire. Gaining a hero twin brother and an evil biological father (who also died) couldn’t be a replacement for the family that had raised her.

Han hadn’t really thought about it before, but now, sitting in a rundown drink hole at the edge of the known galaxy, he tried to imagine Alderaan. Leia had talked about it before – mountains and green valleys and a bright city with a beautiful palace. He privately suspected she’d told Luke more, probably conscious of the enormous class difference between them. (Luke was convinced he’d drawn the better end of the stick with getting to shoot things in the desert and then fly away to the stars with a Jedi Knight.) Leia the princess – had she been spoiled? Han used to be sure about that, but he wasn’t anymore. She was a military commander now.

And Luke was gone all the time with his new Jedi project and Han had left her, too.

“Woman trouble?” the bartender asked sympathetically

Cause he liked to be contradictory, Han grunted out: “Nah. She’s the best. I’m scum.”

The bartender’s tentacles twitched in what was probably confusion. He didn’t ask anything anymore, just let Han grumpily stare down at his drink in silence.

Sadly, his state of being left alone for once wasn’t meant to be. A mostly humanoid being with bright magenta skin and way too many eyes sidled onto the barstool next to him.

“You Han Solo?”

Han groaned internally. They would either offer him a smuggling job, demand owed money or ask for an autograph, and he was too tired to do either. Not to mention, if the bartender heard them, he’d probably know just who Han had been talking about. Just great.

“Got some info for you.”

Han sighed. “What kind? And why should I care?”

Now the alien looked annoyed, if the way their many, many eyes narrowed was analogue to the human meaning of that expression. “Look, I found out from – a friend, let’s say – that there are a few Rebellion members.”

Huh. Okay, no, he did actually care about that. No point in asking whether the info was trustworthy – no way to verify it or the identity of this random person in a bar.

“You mean Resistance?” Okay, the difference in name was slight and pretty ridiculous, but people had settled on that.

“No, I mean Rebellion.” The alien seemed gratified that Han was listening with the proper attention now, for they continued without prompting: “People captured from an old base and held in a local prison. Except now it’s administered by the First Order, and I hear they really want to find all the old hideouts.”

“They know them anyway,” Han said bitterly. The failure of the republic to stop the First Order still sat wrong with him, and likely always would. At least part of the atrocities that had started happening across the galaxy under the new regime were the fault of politicians that had been too self-serving to offer a viable alternative, in his opinion. Not that they hadn’t tried, Lord knew Leia had tried, but…. urgh. There was a reason Han stayed out of politics.

“Maybe. But you don’t think they trust that info?”

Or at least would welcome the opportunity to verify it. Paranoid bastards. (Hopefully, they’d be able to turn that paranoia into fear of something real soon. Well. Hopefully, Leia and the Resistance could. Han was out of that now, dammit.)

“You got a point.”

The alien smiled. Huh. There was a… marked lack of teeth. It should have been reassuring, but it really wasn’t. Han liked knowing how people intended to kill him.

“So… you want to know more?”

“What’s it gonna cost me?” Han wasn’t naïve.

The alien studied him, “Passage to sector 03.”

They hadn’t even added ‘safe’ – were they naïve or conning? “You got a price on your head?”

“Just a small one. Anyway, I had info I wanted to pass on and needed a ride. I’ll give you the exact coordinates on arrival.”

Eh. He’d try. He hadn’t got much to lose. He and Chewie would be able to overpower the alien, if it came to that.

“You got yourself a deal.”

“Great!” The alien clapped him on the back. “You won’t regret it. I hear there’s at least one survivor from Alderaan, too. Your wife might be happy.”

 

Well, dressing up as a Stormtrooper to mount a rescue mission sure brought back memories.

After some careful thought (aka a short explanation of the plan to Chewie who thought it was nuts but went along anyway because fun), Han had decided to not inform the Resistance. Zaqiti, the many-eyed magenta alien, had turned out to be an alright person, but the info was still pretty shady. Definitely not enough to risk sending a full scale rescue squadron into enemy territory. And what was the obvious alternative to a full squadron? A bored smuggler motivated by guilt. Obviously.

The thing was though, it worked. This prison was pretty off the beaten path, obviously protected through obscurity rather than through heavy guarding. It was surrounded by uninhabitable swamps – where would the prisoners go? The mosquitoes alone would drive them back to their cells.

So basically, it only took an hour for Han to be the one “guarding” the prisoner.

It was only one prisoner – apparently, there had been an infection going around that the prison administration hadn’t bothered to cure, and it had taken the other two just weeks before.

Oh, and the stormtrooper Han had played relief for had referred to him as “Kier”.

Han mustered that this was the guy who had been his wife’s first love and, he was pretty sure, lover. Of course, he wasn’t quite as young and handsome anymore, an explosion and subsequent imprisonment didn’t allow for that. There were external pulmonodes on his chest and scarring on the right side of his neck that looked like burns.

But Han could admit to the appeal. Kier was lean and wiry, with narrow shoulders and strong arms. His hair was dark with some grey threaded in, and longer than Had had seen it on a guy in a while. (Then again, he hung out with a lot of military types.)

Still, Han was gratified that he was the taller one.

For a moment, he allowed himself to reconsider the plan. This was his wife’s ex, after all. From what she’d said, he thought they’d had a pretty troubled parting. Maybe Kier wouldn’t want to see her. Maybe she wouldn’t want to see him. Maybe Han didn’t want them to see each other.

On the other hand… if Kier could support Leia the way she deserved…

What if it worked out? What if, and Han would never admit to thinking this, Leia and Kier worked out perfectly this time around, and she wouldn’t need him anymore?

Nah. Han was pretty awesome. Look at him, rescuing her first love without even being paid for it.

Okay, he should probably get on with the rescue mission now. He wasn’t made for this kind of overthinking. He’d get Kier out of here, and they’d talk. Urgh. And then, maybe, together, they’d have something to offer Leia.

In the end, it would be Leia’s choice, anyway. It always was.

 

**Kier**

One 

Kier was being rescued by a space cowboy.

He’d heard of Han Solo, of course. His Rebellion jailers (just two, and he genuinely mourned them being gone. They had been good people, especially in comparison to his current captors, and they had lived together for years) had tried to get news from the rest of the galaxy as often as possible and usually relayed them to their prisoners. Some stuff sounded dubious to Kier (cryofrozen by Vader himself, really?), but Kier knew enough to count Han Solo a hero.

And, of course, Leia’s husband.

Still, Kier hadn’t quite expected the swagger, or even the cursing when they took off under fire.

Han narrowed his eyes. “You haven’t asked about her.”

Kier flushed. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

The other man’s face turned considering. “You still love her, despite her locking you up there?”

“That probably saved my life!” Kier defended her without thinking about it. He’d had a lot of time to analyze his circumstances. He still wasn’t quite convinced he hadn’t been right – look at what happened to Alderaan, their beautiful and _good_ planet, and what good had the Rebellion done if there was just another oppressive regime in place now?

But he had accepted long ago that Leia had done what she thought was right, and so had he. In those long years, he had learned to forgive.

To his surprise, Han relaxed at that. “Good.”

…wait, what.

“Good?” Kier echoed.

“Good. I’m about to bring you to her. Would hate for you to try to kill her or something.”

This was exceedingly confusing. “Uh. I won’t?”

The big, hairy alien that was co-piloting the ship bellowed something.

“Alright, Chewie, I’m fixing that drive!” Han yelled back. He turned, but not before tossing out casually: “Oh, she doesn’t know we’re coming, by the way.”

 

When they docked at the big military compound that Han told Kier belonged to the Resistance, no one gave them a second glance. Pilots in bright orange flight suits were getting ready for flight, judging by the sheer amount of them present in the hangar, or maybe just coming back. Everything was tense, but Kier didn’t think there was an acute emergency happening. It was just the restlessness of those who were all too aware they weren’t safe and aching to go out and do something about it.

He should have known Leia would be at the forefront of the Resistance. He had barely heard about them – First Order stormtroopers were even less chatty than their predecessors, and something like open defiance was not a safe topic of discussion under an authoritarian regime.  He hadn’t asked too many questions of Han, either. Even after all these years, Kier had retained some of his natural shyness, and Han’s natural confidence didn’t help either.

Still. He wasn’t too surprised when they went straight to what was clearly one of the, if not _the_ , commando rooms, and a short woman with braided hair was leaning over a 3D star map in deep concentration.

Leia was obviously ready to say something, but when she turned around and saw Kier, she halted in her tracks.

She was older, sturdier, somehow, with lines around her eyes and mouth. This was a woman who had grown into her authority, a woman who had known unspeakable hardship and kicked its butt.

She was still the most beautiful person Kier had ever seen. It was like a kick to the head. How was he ever going to get over her now?

“Hey Leia,” Han greeted her. “Found something that belongs to you.”

That seemed to bring her out of her stupor. “Kier? Is… is that really you?”

He couldn’t help but smile. “Leia.”

She made a few steps towards him. He didn’t know why she’d stopped – conscious of the way they had parted, maybe, or of the fact that her husband was standing right there – but he knew he was disappointed.

“I wasn’t sure you if you survived,” she said. “When Alderaan… I didn’t know where they brought you to.”

“Zukhur. Or maybe it was Zakhar. Swampy shithole now turned First Order prison,” Han butted in.

Leia raised an eyebrow. She looked completely put-together again. Kier just wished he could say the same about himself. This day had been a bit much. “How did you end up there, anyway?”

“Was in a bar on Sirla,” Han shrugged as if that explained everything.

“And?” she prompted.

“And I gave the informant a lift and then got him out of there.”

She sighed. “Without backup?”

“Hey, don’t discount Chewie.”

“I won’t. He probably did most of the thinking _and_ shooting, if I know you at all.”

“It was pretty easy, actually,” Han bragged, and then, confusingly, added: “No garbage chutes involved.”

Leia rolled her eyes. Then she focused back on Kier. “Worth mounting a bigger rescue mission? We usually _do_ send more than two smugglers with guns.”

With a pang of regret, Kier thought of his Rebellion jailors and the other prisoners he had lived with for over a decade. They had become close, out there on this hell of a planet. Now, he was the only one left.

He tried to control his voice when he replied: “No. I’m the only survivor of the old group. All in all, the size of the rescue effort seems appropriate.”

Leia snorted, but Kier was pretty sure Han was preening. He, himself, was just thoroughly confused and overwhelmed and maybe a bit angry.

“There isn’t much of the old Rebellion left,” Leia said. “If you want to work with us, I think everyone would welcome it.”

The old Leia might have meant this as a peace offer, as a way to keep him close, but Kier couldn’t stop himself from asking caustically: “Am I forgiven then?” She made it sound so easy. As if decades of imprisonment were nothing.

Her jaw tensed. “I’m not apologizing.”

“Neither am I.”

“Nor I.”

“Wait, what?” Kier turned to Han in confusion and saw Leia do the same out of the corner of his eyes. “Why would you be apologizing?”

Han shrugged. “No reason. That’s why I won’t be.”

Kier and Leia looked at each other. And then they started laughing. It felt a little like watching Amilyn back in the junior senate, a bright spot of relief in all the tension.

Kier looked at Leia, still smiling, and offered: “How about no one apologizes and we just go forward from here?”

This time, she did hug him. “I’d like that.”

Kier held her closer and longer than was probably appropriate, but for once in his life he just couldn’t care. She was here, she was real, and he’d be able to stay. He owed Han Solo big time.

Leia, too, didn’t seem to object, clutching his shoulders. When they finally parted, she was still smiling, but it was softer now.

Han was looking at them.

Kier was trying to think about how to approach the topic – they’d probably have to address the fact that Leia had been his first (and only) girlfriend and that he was visibly not over her.

But Han cleared his throat before Kier could say anything.

“Okay. I have something to say. Leia, I’m pretty crap at this marriage thing, I know.”

Leia made as if to interrupt, but Han just kept going: “No, no, it’s true. Like, you’re not that great at it either, but anyway. I’m saying it’s fine if you want to… add something. Or someone. That’s you, by the way, in case I’m not making myself clear.”

He pointed at Kier.

“I’m not the one explaining it to Ben though!”

With that, he all but ran out the door, presumably making for his spaceship again.

Kier blinked. “Interesting… relationship you have there,” he said carefully.

Leia buried her face in her hands. “You have no idea.”

 

Two

It was one of their rare days off that Kier finally approached Leia with a topic he’d been thinking about a lot lately.

“Look, I know when we started this, we set the… unspoken rule that he and I wouldn’t, you know.”

“Fuck?”

Kier was little ashamed to admit that she could still shock him when she swore. That was probably why she did it. He’d noticed that with Han, it was almost always the formal word choice for her.

“Um, yes. Or like.”

“And you’d like to change that?” she asked. She didn’t sound angry or judgmental, at least. Not even all that surprised.

“If you don’t mind.”

Leia thought about. “No,” she answered slowly, “I’d like that, I think.”

He had to kiss her for that. Her chest was rising and falling rather more quickly when they parted.

Still, Kier asked: “Would he?”

“We’ll just have to ask.”

“What if he doesn’t want to? Will it… I don’t know, spook him away?” It was weird to think of confident to cocky Han this way, like a frightened colt, but Kier had gotten to know the other man rather well by now. It wasn’t exactly a facade, but Kier had never met someone so unwilling to get emotionally involved in anything while at the same time craving affection.

“He’ll run either way.”

Kier frowned. “What do you mean?”

Leia just sighed. “You’ll see.”

 

Still, nothing changed. Not until Ben – Han and Leia’s teenage son that Kier barely knew because he’d grown up with Leia’s twin brother Luke (and hadn’t that been a surprise to find out about) – killed the other children in his order and became the First Order’s executioner.

Leia and Han were seemingly always on edge these days. They snapped at each other, but they didn’t _talk_ , and they didn’t touch. Usually, Leia, though not a fan of public affection, would still seek either of them out regularly, but she’d been withdrawn. Han, too, had been far less tactile than usual.

Kier had enough. He had tried to approach them individually. It hadn't worked, and it had been weeks now.

Clearly, with those two, talking wouldn’t work.

Instead, he told Leia what he wanted to do, and they cornered Han in their rooms. (They didn’t sleep together in the literal sense, either. Whenever Han was actually in the same place at the same time as the other two, which wasn’t all that often, Kier retreaded to the adjoining room that had been officially assigned to him. He was determined to change that.)

“What are you doing-“ Han asked when he saw them. Leia interrupted him by marching forward and kissing him, likely just to shut him up. Luckily, Han seemed pleasantly surprised by the development, which bode well for their plans.

Kier watched them for a moment, then he came to stand behind Leia, who broke the kiss, grinned up at him and stepped aside, giving him more space.

Kier gathered all his courage and laid a hand on Han’s shoulder. Han looked slightly confused at this turn of events, but didn’t move away. Kier smiled at him and leaned in, slowly, to give him plenty of room to give the slightest indication that he didn’t want this.

But Han suddenly surged forward and kissed him hard, one of his hands weaving into Kier’s loosely braided hair. He probably didn’t even know why Kier shuddered when he took out the tie and combed it out with his fingers, but that didn’t matter as long as he didn’t stop kissing Kier.

Leia pressed up against Kier from behind, barely able to look over his shoulder, but her small hand joined Han’s in taking out his braids. She _very definitely_ knew what this meant.

Finally, Kier had to draw in some breath, so he pulled back and asked: “Join us?”

“Fuck yeah.”

Leia grinned, looking younger than she had since… since. “Then get undressed, the two of you.”

Kier hurried to obey – only good things happened when she used that tone of voice. He was wearing full uniform today, so it took him a bit longer than the other two to get naked, but when he turned back to them, he couldn’t regret it in the least.

Han was sitting on the edge of the bed, Leia kneeling beside him on the mattress. They made a striking picture, and Kier couldn’t decide where he wanted to look first.

Han caught his eyes, grinned and spread his legs, unashamed to be seen in all his naked glory. He probably liked it.

Leia’s eyes glinted. “Blow him, Kier.”

Kier settled into the familiar feeling of following her instructions. It wasn’t always like this when it was just the two of them, but gods, how he enjoyed it when it happened. It was just… soothing? Reassuring maybe. Leia’s tactical mind seemed to apply to sex, too, taking into consideration how much time they had and what they were in the mood for and spitting out a plan of action with the maximum pleasurable outcome.

It was hot as hell.  

With a smile, he dropped to his knees. He could feel Han’s eyes on him as he took the other man’s cock into his mouth – just the tip for now, he didn’t have a terrible lot of experience with this, after all.

It seemed fitting that this would be how he learned, with the three of them together.

“Try taking more.”

He did, and hmm, that was nice. Kier liked the heavy weight of the cock in his mouth, the feeling of being stuffed. He tried to trace it with his tongue.

“Suck, and take care with the teeth. He doesn’t like it as much as I do.”

When Kier looked up, he saw her mouth close to Han’s, one of her hands weaving through his chest hair, occasionally pulling one or grazing his nipples.

“He’s got such a talented mouth, doesn’t he?” he heard her whisper to Han.  “I love it when he goes down on me. He can do it all night, and he loves it.”

Kier would have thought that a bit much, afraid of making Han jealous, but instead, Han groaned and his hips started giving little, aborted thrusts into Kier’s mouth. It was hot as hell, and Kier did his best to take it.

Leia sighed and oh, Kier knew that sound. A quick glance confirmed it – she was using one of Han’s hands to get herself off.

By the gods, Kier needed to touch himself. The feeling of his own hand around his cock felt like blessed relief.

It seemed like a chain reaction – the sight of Kier fisting himself, his mouth around Han’s cock, seemed to get Han and Leia going, and in turn, the sounds they made just got Kier more ramped up.

“He’s going to come,” Leia told him. “Try swallowing for me – but it’s fine if you can’t.”

“Fuck,” Han cursed, and with a last thrust of his hips Kier felt him spurt come onto his tongue. He managed to swallow some of it, but it was kind of difficult to coordinate his tongue and lips and gag reflex in the haze he was in, so he brought up his free hand and pulled back a little, letting it spurt on his tongue, instead.

Then he couldn’t help himself anymore – he had to pull away and curl into himself as he came, harder than in a long time. Leia’s moans joined his, her eyes fixed on his face and the spots of cum on his lips.

For a minute or so, they all just breathed heavily.

Then Leia told him: “Get up here.” Kier obeyed and, after quickly kissing each of them on the shoulder (he didn’t want to subject them to the taste of his mouth right now, even though he himself kind of liked it) before just letting his body slump into the mattress.

He felt his breath even out. Leia was lying in the middle of the bed, Han on the other side. Or at least, he had been until he got up and very quietly left, probably imagining them to be asleep.

Leia turned over and buried her head in Kier’s shoulder. “Told you.”

However, Kier thought he understood. “It’s a bit much for him. He needs to feel he’s not bound, even though of course he is, in some way, just by caring. It not just you – I think it would be the same with anyone he loved.”

She laid a gentle hand against the burned side of his neck. “That includes you, too, you know.”

Kier suddenly had to swallow against the tears that threatened to well up. “Then we’ll wait for him.”

“He always comes back,” Leia reassured him. She thought for a moment. “Tell him you really want to blow him again and he might be back sooner.”

Kier laughed and laughed and laughed, desperately caught up in those two difficult people he loved.

 

Three

He wasn’t even with Leia when Han died.

Occasionally, his duties took him away from her. She was the figurehead of this movement as well as their strategist, and he was uniquely suited to represent her in diplomatic missions: not minding the danger, familiar with her way of thinking and having actual experience in representing a community to other politicians.

Still. He needn’t have taken this mission.

There had been an argument. Well, first there had been multiple planets gone – eradicated by the First Order in order to punish the Resistance. Millions and millions of people gone, just to show some strength.

Neither he nor Leia had taken it well.

“See what this leads to?” he had yelled.

She, of course, had screamed right back: “What do you expect us to do? Sit quietly while they slaughter us?”

“How many more planets will be destroyed for your freedom?” He had regretted those words, and the way she had turned pale at them, later, but right then, the pain of knowing Alderaan was gone, not to mention the grief for those people on the planets he had known personally, was suddenly all too fresh.

There had been more screaming that night. In the end, Kier had taken the next best mission that got him out of there.

None of this really explained why he was on a ship when he suddenly felt something leave. He couldn’t describe it better. It was one of those Force-sensations – the ones he only felt in connection with Leia.

He turned around and ran to the bridge. “Tariq, connect me to the General, please!”

The young pilot was clearly confused by his sudden urgency, but obeyed. Soon, the puzzled look on his face turned into a frown. “I can’t reach anyone, Sir. Emergency comm channels open only.”

“Get us back to base,” Kier ordered. “As quickly as possible.”

 

When he arrived, everything was in chaos. Pilots looked stricken and jubilant at the same time, and there were far fewer planes than when he had left. But at least there still was a base.

He didn’t really take in more, just made his way to the commando room as quickly as possible. For a moment, his heart soared as he saw Leia’s familiar figure standing there.

“Leia!”

Then he considered how – how empty she looked. Her slumped posture. The feeling of something vital being ripped from him. And he realized: If it wasn’t Leia that had died, then…

Leia looked at him and dismissed those around her with a quick wave. Her voice was carefully even when she said: “Kier.”

“What happened?” he asked hoarsely.

“There’s this girl – Rey. She has the Force.” There was more there that she wasn’t telling him, but for now, he didn’t press. “The First Order wanted her and kidnapped her for information. Han went to rescue her.”

Kier cursed. “Alone?”

“Finn – he’s ex-stormtrooper and was –“

“Stormtrooper?” Kier interrupted her. That was too extraordinary to not comment on.

“He defected and helped us gain the missing piece of the map. He freed Poe,” she explained. “He went with Han, and was terribly wounded. But Chewie and Rey managed to flee with him.”

“Why didn’t they take Han back, too?” Kier asked harshly.

Leia just shook her head with exhaustion. “Ben ran him through with a lightsaber. They had to watch.”

“Oh,” Kier whispered. “Oh, Leia, that’s…”

Their own son. Oh gods.

Kier took her hands in his and murmured: “May his soul be at peace.” The old funeral rite of Alderaan. As gone as their loved one, but he didn’t know what else to say, what to do to make it better. Even as he wanted to help Leia, make her look less sad, he felt his own grief ravaging through him.

She must have sensed it, for she drew him close and whispered, “I already cried all night. You can, too.”

His eyes burned and he couldn’t suppress his sobs anymore. She held him and he clung to her. No one else disturbed them. It was just them.

When they finally drew back, Leia’s eyes were wet, too.

Kier felt all cried out, wrung empty, but somehow that scared him even more. What if it never stopped feeling that way? What if they were just shells now?

“Will you do the braid?” Leia asked. Kier nodded. Ritually, mourning braids were done by another person, to make sure the one grieving wasn’t alone. By braiding her hair, he was affirming that he would stay with her.

She would do the same for him. Kier and Leia didn’t have anyone else to do them, even if they had wanted to.

It broke his heart that she still felt the need to ask. Slowly, as if not to spook her, he walked around and began to loosen the braids. There was nothing sexual about it now. It felt as if he was putting heaviness into every movement, into her very being.

“What happens now?” he asked.

“Thanks to the… the rescue team, the Starkiller is destroyed. For now, at least. They’ll want revenge, and it will likely hit us hard. We need to be prepared,” Leia said.

For once, it didn’t grate on him that she put the Resistance first. She had just lost her husband and her son (again). Kier, himself, felt the need to throw himself into work and make sure it wasn’t in vain.

Many decades and too many deaths later, they were finally on the same wavelength about this.

“Rey has gone looking for Luke,” Leia added. “She should receive instruction, and hopefully, Luke will find his way back.”

Kier didn’t know what to think about Luke Skywalker. The guy was pretty much a legend, but ever since the spectacular failure of his endeavor to rebuild the Jedi Order he had hidden himself away. Kier didn’t approve of running away from your mistakes.

He wasn’t going to run from this.

“And we?”

Her shoulders slumped, and she looked away. “I need to be there for the resistance,” she told him. “I can’t – I can’t.”

He made himself smile. “Then I’ll be right here.”

“Thank you,” she said simply.

“Will there be a funeral?” Kier was trying not to think of the one that had been held for his fake-death – flowers, his parents crying, a grave overlooking the palace grounds.

Leia’s smile was bitter. “He was a hero, after all.”

True. But… “We knew him. Chewie did, Luke did. You and I, especially. We should have a private ceremony. I mean -“ Kier had trouble putting into words what he felt. “Remember Han as he was.”

Leia thought about it. “Yes. Yes, that’s a good idea. We should wait until Rey returns – I think she got to know him, too – but yes. Yes, I’d like that.”

“We will go on,” Kier told her as he finished up the braid. “We will survive this.”

He almost believed it himself.

Almost. 


End file.
